You know what irks me? Plastic fruit bags

No, wait. It’s more than an irk. It enrages me. And it’s the first thing I get greeted with when I go for my weekly shop. The distinct sound of soft plastic getting ripped off then flung open. The sight of weighted plastic sacks holding a mere handful of fruit, burns the very pupils of my eyes.

“Welcome to OLD world,” I scoff.

This whole scenario of adults clutching plastic fruit bags has me humming a sarcastic, made-up song:

“Let’s… put… an-other ap-pllllle… in the plastic baggggg”

I want to confront them, say something. Shit, I’m approaching them! Mission gets aborted when I spot someone I know.

In 2019 the New Zealand Government rolled out a nationwide ban on single use plastic checkout bags. People applauded them their progressiveness, but wait… haven’t they forgotten about something that’s in a very similar category here? THOSE BLOODY PLASTIC FRUIT BAGS! Why not ban them in the same nationwide sweep? It has the same 15-minute usage as those checkout bags.

Fruit in, fruit out, throw out.

Surely there’s enough information out there about the waste crisis and the alarming amount of pollution poisoning our planet to indicate that this plastic bag isn’t a good thing to use.

Why are shoppers acting so obliviously?

What’s wrong with putting those apples straight in the basket?

Okay, so you have an irk with not having your pears paired together.

That don’t impress’a me much. Just use a freak’n mushroom bag.

All hail the mushroom bags! They have been a godsend for helping me cut plastic.

Roasted nuts? In the mushroom bag. Cherry toms? In the mushroom bag.

It’s time to break up with plastic. You can do it. Get fruit naked and rely on the trusty mushroom bag for everything else.

Words Lauren Prebble


© 2019